Not a Confession
I may be the most emotional person, and I like people to respect my emotions, but if I don't respect their's how can I even expect them to respect mine. But being in the flow of emotions, sometimes I just lose control over my words and may end up doing something which I don't want people to do with me. But god has blessed some people with such a graceful attitude that they don't react to my insults, but some do. And the harder I try to understand this, the more I get lost. SO I better stay away from bonding with people, and disturbing their life. I would rather wanna be lost in myself, and it doesn't even matters even if I insult myself, discourage myself, I have solutions for all them, but no one can ever take back their words.This doesn't mean that I wanna be lost in my world of dreams again, I have quit dreaming, it only makes mirages of life which are false images, which have to break one day or other, and with me knowing the fact there is no sense in pursuing them. I wanna walk with myself. It is me with me, me against myself ,and me encouraging me now. There's no other divine feeling than to spread happiness, live for somebody's happiness, but u need to be happy to spread it, otherwise all you do is selling a dream, which is senseless.
Also, I can forgive but never forget. This stands true only for certain situations in my life, when I was really hurt. But even after knowing that I cannot express my feelings to that person, I just go on and on. Either I should forget after forgiving, or never forgive. But I never believe in revenges, so the former works for me.
I never want to hurt anybody. The person who I can disturb the most is me myself. Rather I should say that this is what is in my mind. But I can never implement it. I just end up creating a mess, may be due to the spectrum of emotions and thoughts I have. But I don't have a solution against it till now, hoping for time to show me the path. And luck and me have never been on speaking terms, so I just leave rest on to my destiny.
Finally, the things which I want the most in life, the things of which I dream all my life, I just never make the effort to get them. I dream of them , and start believing that my task is done. And when I get a reality check that it isn't true, I just break up into pieces.Basketball is my favorite sports, but to be honest I have really never struggled hard for it. I just dreamed myself flying in air and dunking over a 6 foot guy, making that jab move, passing that alley-oop, getting the ball in air, and smash there goes the dunk. And the very next day I get to the court dreaming of myself as the star player, and when I get to know that my shoots are also not going in, I just can't bear it and start finding faults in something else.And then maybe if I have a lucky day, I may give a chance to the practice sessions, and try and improve my game, which might help for quiet sometime, but then again there goes the dreamer, back in his fairy land, where everything is possible without any effort.I always want it the easy way, never strive for anything. Basically m a lazy person looking for somebody to come and show me the path, and finally realizing that I was on the path I only needed to wake up and walk.

- Myself

Das Vidaniya

This is no movie review, neither am I any movie critic to do so. But this movie is one of the movie which touched me. It just grabbed my heart and pumped it, made it beat faster, it glued my eyes to it. Though I was not at all sentimental during the movie. But had a great feeling after watching it. Many of us including me spend the life being an introvert pretending to be an extrovert sometimes. And for me the scene is even worst, I cannot even pretend to be an extrovert for long. I give up to the worldly emotions. But the main concept is to be an extrovert to yourself, you should be clear what you want in life, and for me that is peace. I had written something similar earlier, so don't feel like writing it again.
But the main funda is to be true to yourself, and not be lost in the race soo much that we lose focus from the aim. Its true there are no beginnings and no ends, but the momentary starts and ends really matter in life, those small journey which add up to the bigger round trip (coz we come back from where we started) called life are also important.We can achieve almost anything we want in life, it just depends on the choice we make. But we are so much lost in it that we forget to make the choices.

The second good thing I liked in the movie is that he[main lead] can achieve all the elementary things without any trouble, but when it comes to his closed ones it is all a different ball game. He is too much hurt that he wants to commit suicide. So emotions are delicate things, and treat them as one, don't play with them.

Finally to summarize, life is a journey in which we have to walk alone, and we don't know of the destination, but we have to enjoy the trip, and make sure we don't miss anything. Some spend their life searching for the end results, till they experience it, some are lost in the way so much that they never even have the chance to experience the journey. Also love is an important ingredient of life.If you have someone to walk with you on the path of life, the journey becomes more sweet, enjoyable and less tiring. I define love as a Car, which helps travel miles on the road of life, the luxury of car varies from person to person. But the main problem is some people spend their life searching for a driver, and never look for the car. The beautiful thing is that once you get into this car it never needs to be repaired or fueled. It just goes on till you have the driver :).And last but not the least, truly there are hurdles, there are setbacks, but why behave as a stranger to your own life. Face it and get away with it. Spread happiness, be a little selfish in making the life you are living in, more happier and merrier. And also if you start critically thinking of anything you can find faults in each and every damn part of life, and if you start thinking like this you can never live life, can never walk on the road. So stop judging, start accepting !!If you can do something for it, do it right away, but never judge..
Walk with your feet on ground and head held high in sky. The empty road is looking towards you and wanting you to traverse it happily !!


-Prshant

Had a Nice Day..... :)

Had this happened 2 years before I would have projected it as the worst day of my life, this post wud not even have come into existence. But there is a new positive energy in me these days. It so happened that I had to go for a visit to Nuclear Power Plant with co-internees from all over the world working at different parts in Switzerland. Most of them, I have met earlier almost all of them. We had to be at the platform at 8:24 in the morning to catch the train. I reached there at 8:15 well dressed, and perfectly ready. If you know me this would be a strange thing to see, coz I never wake up befor 9, and then getiing up from bed is all different story. So as was expected people were really amazed, they were least expecting me. Anyway we moved on. We boarded the train, and after around 20 minutes of travel we reached Dottingen, where a bus was waiting to take us to the Power Plant. Suddenly someone asked that do u all have ur passports and bang, I realised I was the only one not carrying it.Soon, I was in a rush to go back and get the passport anyway, I was talking to the organiser that I can get back in an hour and can I be allowed at that time. While I was doing this, some of my colleagues were sitting in the bus, some were really worried for me. And it was a nice feeling to realise atleast you have some people in a stranger country who care for you, and even from whom it was least expected. Look in her eyes were that of a worried mind, and I dont know how I could console her, so rather than saying anything I just hurried back home. Then somehow, on the way back I managed to miss the train, and reached the Dottingen station 1:30 hours late. Now I had to take the Bus from there, and the main thing was that I just knew the name of the region power plant was located in. I sat in the bus. It was going through all those beautiful meadows, hill after hill it was crossing. I was just enjoying the view and was planning to come here next weeken for a hike.Suddenly I realised that I had travelled for about 30 minutes in the bus and still not reached anywhere, and hold on a second do I know where I wanna reach. I immediately appeared in front of the bus driver asked him about the Power plant, and it is so very much difficult to communicate in German when you know only a few words from the language. But somehow I managed to both ask him ,and understand his answer. I had missed the stop and if I get down at next stop I can take the next bus back. I got down, crossed the road ,justz to check on the schedule at the bus stop that next bus is in 2 hours. At first I just laughed at my destiny, that how graceful god is, I know I could not come next week for the hike coz it is gonna be snow, so god gave me an oppurtunity to live my dream today. Also from far away I could see the power plant, and dream of reaching there in time was clouded. As the tour was only for 3 hours. And even if I rushI would just be there in time to see all of smiling faces coming out.So I just thought relax ,and enjoy the nature. I was on a highway, cars going at around 200 past me. I diverged my path a little bit,and started walking towards the hill. Man, the view was just mind blowing, and winter was also on its peak. But I was really enjoying it. I had no regrets of the day. It was all seeming so perfect.I was feeling good to get up early in the morning, to realise that there are people who care, to realise that god helps fullfill my wishes. And if there had been someone who I had shared it with at that very moment, I would have got all the negative energy with all the negative thoughts of being lost. But I did not want to lose all this happinees. I just wanted to be lost in my own world for some time. Generally this happens, coz most of the people look at the negative side of all the things I tell them I had done, so to avoid all that negative energy I just tell this to all of them negatively, that I have lost it and all. And then instead of giving negative energy people console me. But today I did not want to be involved in all this ambiguity. I just had a positive feeling. And nobody could have changed it at that moment. Than I felt like talking to a "person", whom I know would never give me that negative energy, would appreciate me, though her words may suggest the opposite. I ended up calling her, and tell her all the story ,and she came up to my expectations. It felt good to talk to her and share all this, though I exhausted all my balance and was left with no contact to the outside world.
Then I walked past all those hills and green pastures of land. Really it looked green till the horizon. I was at the country side. Walking I witnessed a single house in middle of nowhere. It was really beautiful and strange, I hope nobody used to live there. But it had all those small dolls kept all around it. There were some sitting on the fence as the guardians, some at the windows njoing the weather. It was so sweet experience to see all this. Then soon I could see the city. As I was approching it I managed to get lost again. I just ended up in a field with nowhere to go further. Then I happened to see a tractor coming my way.I asked the tractor driver that which way should I go. He got off his tractor and walked me to the road and showed me the way and went back only when he was convinced that I knew the way. How helping are people of Switzerland. Then finally after a little while I found a bus stop, and reached the Dottingen station. And I saw all the people from my group waiting there for the next train, as they come every hour. It was about to come in next 5 minutes. I had to buy the ticket, also everybody was interested in knowing where I was all the time. I was anxiously telling them, and contradicting them that I really had a Nice Day....And buying the ticket was again a long story, but the conclusino was that I missed the train and had to wait at the platform for next 1 hour. And one of our crew member was soo nice to wait on the platform for me. Then I noticed that I could see the sun. How lucky I was,if I would have been on that train I would not have been able to see this beautiful scene of sun illuminating the surroundings all around. Then the guy waiting with me advised to go to a nearby cafe and spend some time. I took a Hot Chocolate and a Chocolate Truffle and njoied it in the warm sun. It was really mind freshning. Finally I took the train and went back home with all these sweet memmories and memorable experiences....
And I conclude that I HAD A NICE DAY

I remember a famous dialogue from a movie which I used to admire the most during college life...It goes like "Jimmy says, if you love someone you say it, right then, aloud, otherwise the moment just passes you by".... So true.. !!
Life is not definite, like two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen make water every time, every time... !! Things change with time, and so do feelings.. Not only love, the rule stated above applies to everything. At a time you dream of something in life, and at that time you have full energy to do that, you have visualized your target in your dreams. You should start working on it, I had rather say try and do it at that time only. Coz as the time passes by and you wait for situation to become favorable, which it will never be more favorable than you having the full zeal. All other external factors are least important, it matters how much you value it !! Also this idealogy is task specific. Some tasks are meant to be done with some delay , and you might have dreamt them also in such a way, u need to wait, but in process of waiting you should not also lose focus..
Above all as Jimmy says, she says about love, and that is also an important thing in life, gives you a trust, gives you a confidence, gives you a rope to cling on to during the high tide time of life. And mind you this is a kind of opportunity which does not comes time and again, and the beautiful thing is that you don't have to be cautious enough to know its presence. You will know it by yourself. So enjoy the beautiful life and never forget what "jimmy says "...
Also as Joker truly say... click here


-Prshant