Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Understaanding... someone... someone close... !!

I dont know if it happens to me or to everybody, but for me it happens and it is now that m realising it. Wenever I try to understand someone, understand how he/she behaves which we all generally do in process of getting close to somebody (and I get close to everyone very soon), I just try and see my image in that person and in the process I try and understand myself rather. Even if I cannot find that image I thrive hard to find it and somehow in some or other act of that person I find it. And the moment that image is fully highlighted, my belief is fullfilled, though I might be thinking that I`m getting to understand that person well but that might not be the truth. Its just that stressing on lie again and again makes it truth. But this is not how we should understand somebody, or just never try and understand. OR as my friend truly says " I`m free of all the prejudices. I hate everyone equally "..

Sunday, January 25, 2009

My Encounter with the Devil

Devil is something which has done its part with the evil things and wants to spread it to others. It can be some thought some person, some demonstration or any damn thing for that matter. In my case it was a thought, or rather a series of thoughts.

I was just thinking that we are all evil by nature, its just we are good under some circumstances or rather I shud say under some forces or bindings. Just looking around ourselves, waiter is serving in the restaurant with all the enthusiasm not because he likes cooking food or likes to know about food, but because otherwise he would be thrown out of his job, students are trying hard to score well not because they like their subject but because they are not bold enough to face their parents with less marks, players play well in a team not because they love the game, everybody does, but the main reason is that if they don`t somebody else will be taken instead of them.  We all try and live our dreams because if we don`t somebody else will. We all have many thoughts in our mind, but we follow any one of them not randomly but because of some bondage, some pressure from our inner self. And if it is not there, we are free there would be a chaos. But then what is freedom, why do we call ourselves free.. These few questions on some idol weekend provoked some evil thoughts in me.. But this cant get the best of me.. I`m away from all this now

∗ -this all could have been in form of fiction but today I was too lazy to do that .. :)

Friday, January 23, 2009

I was walking normally, then somehow some adrenaline rush pushed me to run, I dont know for whom. But in seconds i found myself running to get to the train station, though I didn't had to catch any train. But I was running. I was on the stairs, going down really fast. I tried skipping 2 steps at a time. And suddenly on the last step, *crunch*crackle*, goes my ankle.I almost missed a series of heart beats. It was my left ankle. I already had injured my right one last year. It was paining like something, I wanted to cry but couldn't , coz m an adult and adults don't cry. Pain was getting into my head, I was almost shivering with pain. I sat down on the floor, with foot in my hand (dunno y, it always is a relief to hold it in hand), and I did not want to believe that it was happening for real. I was praying to god, may it be one of the wierd dreams of mine. But it was reality, and ankle was swollen llike something. And it was getting warm also. I had a hint that something serious had happened. But I did not want to believe all this, as that night I had to go Ice Skating and I would not be able to go, niether wud I be able to go sking for entire month. And thinking all this I was literally laughing, I mean I had to go ice skating and ankle twisted, even arm could have twisted but it did not. (I Thank God for that). And most important thing I did not what to do next, I did not had any mobile, and swiss people are so insecure that they would not help you in such a situation. I was just thinking of options when my friend Raj appeared out of the blues. It was really a mind freshning xperience. Now a days I have stopped expecting anythingfrom friends (coz it never helps). But he was nice enought to help me move and took me to the hospital which unfortunately was closed. Then he accompanied me to my home and stayed with me and helped me as much as he could. Next day, the swelling was still there. It seemed serious, I went to the hospital straight. There I had to wait for almost 30 minutes. And when I was inside the ward, Raj was all the time waiting outside. It was soo nice of him. How can someone be so rude to that guy ?, I imagined at that time !! After some time, he left as he had to attend a meeting, then I had my xray done, and yipee there was no bone injury but the ligament had been torn, and doctors told me that they will apply some support. and I had to wait to get it done, but the wait was long. And suddenly a friend of mine appeared there also, she was in hospital for some reason, but talking to someone while sitting in waiting room of hospita, wiith all german magazines and newspapers around to read always helps, believe me !!And the support which they then applied to my foot was so innovative, I mean its rigidity can be adjusted according to the user. And the hospital staff was also very nice. For the first time Hospital did not seem to me a deprsessing place,I was no more afraid of hospitals . Then I was given crutches to walk.
I have plaster in my leg, crutches in my hands,
I look like I belong to some nasty gang,
walking all the way with a limp in the foot,
looking at all the people wearing their boot,
Cursing my luck is not gonna help any more,
Coz there aint anybody who is responsible for,
whatever I had been suffering,
its all my own earning,
But I guess I must thank all who had been there,
To give all their help and care,
I feel so lucky today,
for having so many "friends" , to say..... !!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

We living beings breathe to be alive. We are so much dependent on the air. We talk of so many emotions, so many things on "To Do" list, so many people to meet daily. But we never ever say that I want time to breathe some air. This is considered as a essential process and is always left on auto-pilot. From the moment we have breathed in the air for the lungs till the moment we start exhaling it, that tiny moment of time, is the duration we live ,rest is merely a following of rule. Sometimes when we are thinking of somebody close or we are having some good thoughts in our mind ,we almost miss a heartbeat and the breathing process slows down and the duration for which air stays inside increases, and gives us a fresh feeling. Opposingly when we are angry we breathe rapidly thus decreasing that duration. So we should always keep good thoughts in our minds..!!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Sometimes in life you have no choice but to run away. To just turn your back on something which you really liked, loved, cared for and were willing to donate even your life for it. Sometimes you think that you were not worthy for it, but if you look at all the things you have done to be at the place you are you are first in the race of all the aspirants. But still you could not achieve it, it just needs a strike and maybe you know where, when and how to strike but somehow it cannot possibly happen. Still you wanna wait and wait till ages. God cannot give you a more blunt signal than this to "backoff right now". But you don't even listen to God at that time, coz you have more faith, more respect, are more religious to something other than god. You can be as mad as you want to be, blame it on your luck, blame it on your situation, blame it on time, blame it on any damn thing. But that is never gonna help. In the end you will have to LET IT GO, and it will hurt, and may be you will never ever be able to let it go completely. So it is better to turn your back on it, though it may take alot of effort, its like turning the direction of tides on a sea-shore, but lot easier than that , coz it is all in your mind that has to be changed, you just need to do some chemical reactions in your brain and it is done, but you have to do it... Those are the situations which are a test of time.. You just have to run away, its not that there is a lack of options, but you have to stop thinking of options at that stage, and believe me it will help..And if you are asking about how to read god's signals you know them you dont have to search for them, you just have to act practically and think logically and you will know it all.. And knowing is not the end game implementing it is another big puddle of emotions in which you have to jump and cross it as fast as you can..But running away is also a best options sometimes in life and just keep this in mind..!! You may not be running away forever, but you know that time is not right and wen it will be right may be you will find the same target on the way you are running now and in a more reachable form. Then you will realise that it was the wrong path you had chosen and there was no error with your efforts.. But all it takes is to be at the right place at the right time.. And very few people haev that power..!!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Child Hood, the best part!!

When ever I see a small child smiling or laughing as they do without any care, my heart just rejoices, as if that is the best moment for me in my life. Really childhood is the best part of our life, though adulthood is important. As pre-supposed we do whatever we wanna do in life as a child. We laugh, we cry when we want to we get what we want to and what not, we do whatever small mind of ours can think of !!
But I was just wondering that when a small child crawls on the floor he wants all his freedom to go anywhere, for him nothing is an hurdle, nothing is delicate, nothing is brittle in his way, nothing can hurt him. But his parents out of concern just prevent him from going to place where he has a slightest chance of getting hurt, getting lost or something like that. But to child’s brain this all might seem like a hurdle, or maybe he does not has any definition for hurdle, but when he again tries to go to the same place when there is no restriction, it seems that he considers them as hurdles. And still after facing so many hurdles to his major of the acts he takes everything as a new lesson in life and never reacts negatively to anything, accepts everything , either with a smile or with a momentarily cry. But that learning phase of a child is the most appealing for me.. !!

Neway we cannot re-live the childhood we have lived, all we can do is have those beautiful memories always with us to keep up our confidence. And learn from all the children around us..:)

Friday, January 09, 2009

What is Love ... !!

Recently I saw the much awaited (though it was released earlier, it was awaited to be watched in a Cinema, which I did recently)movie - Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, and contradicting my expectations I did not like the movie that much, maybe I just had seen Ghajini before this, and that was much more appealing than this. Once again has it happened with me, now Asin (the actress in Ghajini) in ghajini seems to be the ideal girl for my life, but this will keep on changing, till one day I find her and realise all my dreams and xpectations about her were so dim and look all fading away in from of her, coz she will be like sunshine... Neway this all can wait.. !!
But there is one thing in Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi which made me write this, and I cannot resist myself more. It is the moment when Anushka Sharma ( acting as "Tanni") appologises to Surender Sahini that she cannot love him, she has no more love in her heart to give to some other person.. She also quotes that it always hurts in Love.. !! I just somehow wanted to discuss these two so called "dialogues"... !!
Firstly she says that it always hurts in love, I have to say that when somebody is in love than he/she is above all these feelings of getting hurt and rejoicing... There is nothing like that, people cry when their loved ones depart and call that as the pain of love, but it isn't like that, true love is something which helps you evolve, helps you to discover yourself, and when you have that you have eternity and than it is not an obligation for you to be with your lover, you can always feel her from far away and that would be enuff, there is no such thing as "pain" when you acquaintance True Love..
Secondly she has to say that she has no more love left in her heart to give to the new person in her life, or she wants to say that she is all broken up to start a new love again. Contrary to this according to me love is something else. When it happens it never has to take a long time, though the acceptance and surrender may take some time, but love, love is always there. It is something which gives birth to you again on this earth, you are born again, you love everything again, and unlearn the old things. All the earlier existence of your personal life does not matter any more.. It is something which helps you see more of yourself both inside and outside, it is a divine feeling, both loving and to be loved. So saying that there is no more love left is meaning less, coz love is no such thing which you give to others it just takes place and gives you everything it has.. And for true love to exist, to flow inside your heart you must first free your heart of all other things, and then you will experience it.

Though in the end she admits her love for Surender Sahni and is loved by him, but all through the movie her attitude towards him is according to me some exaggeration of the fact. I mean she could also have act normal, after so many days had passed..

Neway jo bhi hai ,this is all I had to say on the movie, not particularly on the movie but on the thoughts.. But life goes on as it always has to, and you cannot find reason and meaning for everything in life. But most of your acts should all be reasoned, and then it would be in best of your interest.. !!

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

The new year so far has not opened any new presents for me. But wait a second, why do we all run for the presents to be opened, but never care for searching those presents in life.. We all want god to show us the presents and we should just be present there as a Chief Guest for our own Welfare Party and cut the ribbon and get all the favour.. Y have we all become so demanding, may be it is God's Fault that he has timely fullfilled our desires and we are addicted to that routine and cannot think of getting out of our bed early in the morning and go for search of what brings happiness to us... We might do all the things which people around us think are desirable and look good on us, but few of us listen to what heart says and do as it recites.. I guess its enough to listen to it, that also takes much of effort and makes us conscious enough to watch our actions.. But we should always do as our heart wishes than it will take us more closer to god and help us find the presents god has reserved for us, and then opening them would be a great feeling.. !!
Other than this New Year has been good for me, coz I guess there is nothing other than this.. ;)....