Thursday, February 26, 2009

The first four odd numbers add to the day I was born. If you figured the day and are wondering of the month, don't worry. Just add 1 to the sum of first 17 odd numbers and it gives you the number of days in this year remaining after the special day.
If you have figured out, you know when to wear your party hats and sing the birthday song!

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

We all do search for some true love in our life. And as is said that everyone has his\her true soulmate which you are definite to cross paths with, sometime in your life. It  just takes some common sense to notice it. But noticing is the first thing, rest is just destiny. But most of my friends who say that they have found the love of their life, their true soulmate, I find them most of times either complaining about something or the other. Or they are just pretending it. 

But isn´t it true that when we are seeking for our soulmate, we are searching for someone who understands us, will stand by us even at the time of crisis, will feel the same we feel. We are basically looking for the other part of our soul, which has been lost somewhere between the crowd, and when we find it, we can just relate to it. Feel like it, be one with it. But why just push it with somebody whom you are not happy with, basically you are destroying two families which could have been living happily. But at this stage most of us think that where will we go and find all that we sacrificed for her. We shud rather think that at least we did not end up sacrificing everything, we realized at the correct time. Just move on and search somebody who is worth of all your sacrifices but still won´t demand for any, who is content with all your shortcomings.

Had been searching for some face which would be familiar, never realized that the most unknown face was mine, seems like all mirrors had been laughing at me and now I met myself....

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Since he stepped on this earth,
he had a protective cage(self made) around him,
to prevent him from being polluted,
from being affected,
from getting hurt,
from getting involved,
from being attached,
from everything,
but afterall he was human being,
like me and you are,
how can he just escape all this,
that would just be soo unfair,

Was enjoying his journey ,
in that cage ,
over the mountains of obstacles,
over the oceans of emotions,
over the lands,
 So different from his dreamy world,

The cage is wide opened,
he tried to stick to the walls,
but the cruel world would never let him,
Now he is dropped in all the puddle of emotions,
where people fight for reasons they cannot even justify to themselves,
where it is really difficult to "let go off" something,
something close to your heart,
where the rat race is so long,
but people never realize that at the end of the race they are still rats,
where life just never stops for anybody..

He is getting used to all this,
and with the passage of time will be thorough with it,
He never wants to master the skill,
but still he will try..
Which at last he and all of us can..........

Monday, February 16, 2009

He always knew that he could fly,
He had the wings to do so,
But he never ever did try to,
He had many mysteries hidden to himself,
His thoughts were deep,
Inspired by something,
He just wanted to break free,
Wanted to open up,
Wanted to fly,
Fly high in the air,
to which he was not used to,
to where he never belonged,
and he knew it too,
but still he jumped from the cliff,
hoping that his wings will help him fly,
It was a random flight,
He was not used to that adrenaline rush,
or may be the wings were never his,
But he could not really sustain the feeling of being held up,
He is feeling insecure,
He now wants to return to ground,
to his normal secret hidings,
to his own deep world,
where nobody can ever disturb him, not even himself,
Though he did fly really high,
And it will take time to come back,
But now he knows where he belongs,
Or at least where he does not....

Saturday, February 14, 2009

So he was sure that she did not had any idea of what love is,

He could wait for ages,

But could never make her understand about love,

coz those are things to write not to explain,

When there are explanations,

there is no such thing as love,

But she was sure about her feelings,

her words were definite,

he did not click her,

His dreams were all shattered,

His confidence was down to the floor,

His understanding about everythin seemed to be wrong now,

He was not that weak a boy,

But nobody on this earth can be strong to take this coolly,

to believe that all his intuitions were false,

that he was the only one weaving the dreams,

which is incomplete without one more weaver,

his life seemed to be a one way ticket to chaos,

hope was only thing to which he has clinged all this time,

and now that support also seemed to back off,

there are moments when u have full trust on urself,

When in those moments you are betrayed by yourself,

Nobody can help you...

Nobody could ever make her understand now,

And all he could do is try and forget the past now,

Accept the fact and be content with it....

And he will be... !!

** Love is like a Jelly Fish which is soo beautiful but is the deadliest creature on earth... !!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

I know I can never be yours
But I cannot stop my tears,
All I can do is dream of you years by years,
You are my pain,
But fear of all goint to vain,
Makes me insane
--- May be my emotional inertia value is really high. I cannot just stop myself from thinking of you.
I was never true to myself,
You were the " Princess of my dreams",
Could never tell it to you,
Dunno whether it was a fear of losing you,
But I was not that under-confident,
What ever,
I hoped that you would support,
But everything you did was justified,
Still I hope everything to be back to normal,
Still I will dream of you years by years...

So here I dedicate few lines :
I started out with a new love
And I thought I had more control
And as it turned to an old love
Bad times started to unfold

Now I don't want to let you go
And I don't want it to ever end
So if feelings have been torn and if hearts have been broken
Let's put it back together again
Ohhhh, we've got to

Let's mend what's been broken
You and me, me and you
Let's mend what's been broken

Now I'm not ready for new love
'cause you make my life so complete

'cause I don't want to let you go
I don't want it to ever end
So if feelings have been torn and if hearts have been broken
Let's put it back together again
Yes, we've got to

Don't throw it all away
Let's keep this love in every way
Mend my heart, my achin' heart
The thought of a brand new start tears me all apart
The love we've got,
don't let it end
We can put it back together again

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A boy was searching for treasure in his life which he always thought he was destined to achieve. He already had found the treasure, the search was only for finding the correct way  to approach it. Finally he was in front of the gates which would open to his only treasure in life. He had passed that way many a times, but never thought of himself as worth of it. But today he was really determined to go through and have it. He would have done anything to achieve it, but what he needed today was to just demand for it, which he had feared in all these years. But he did so today. He suddenly noticed that the gate was locked, he was not prepared to have faced this fact. But he did it with courage, he wanted to climb the wall, break the rules, but what use will it be then. He wanted it honestly and was planning to come back one day when he thinks he deserves it. But suddenly god appeared, and a heavenly voice told him that he should stop craving for it, but he explained that he can´t. It is his life. God countered that nothing is impossible with human beings, though there might be many things which are impossible in the place where I live. But humans, no there is nothing which is impossible. But boy had spent his life for it so he was a little confused that he could not have been so wrong in judging his intuitions. But also he was not too fool to blame himself for this all his life. He was prepared to move on. But suddenly the heavenly voice delivered those words which would either destroy his life or can reconstruct it. The words were " You deserve more than this, BOY".... He was moved, all his life he had tried to prove himself worthy of this treasure and now he deserves more. He could not digest the fact. But whatever it is the search , the craving, the aspiration and the determination of getting that treasure itself had made him what he was today, and what ever he deserved today. So he can never forget that treasure his whole life and its image will always be there for boasting his confidence, and yeah as all humans are he will be too jealous to know if somebody has that treasure, so he better needs to cut it off from his life for now. And now he is not gonna search for any more treasures in his life coz he already had found one which he deserved, but time will tell what it has hidden for him. Maybe some new treasures.. or may be not. But life goes on... !!

Sunday, February 08, 2009


When there are so many things un-said, they all pile up and then silence overrides. Never let that pile gather up or grow.  Whenever and whatever you feel like you must say it just right then and communicate it exactly, no compromises, no adjustments. 

So its again about our boy Sameer. He is a really strong guy both with his will-power and emotionally. Lets go back little in time. He is 7 years younger than now, an introvert at heart (though he still is, but the change is that now it is no more obvious from his behaviour), a little careless ( or a lot maybe), sensitive ( which he still is ), a little less confident ( which he now is not ), and a good human being (which he always will be). His life was all roses, he had everything he wanted from life, or he wanted and loved everything he had in life till this happened to him. It was a normal Tuesday afternoon. Sun was as usual at its peak and it was summers. It was time for a Lunch Break and as soon as the bell rang students just behaved like the king of school all in their own obvious sense. You could really feel the change in energy of the place at that time if you had been standing in any of the lobbies, all filled with students chatting like this is their last, there was nothing which was un-said, even somethings which shud not have been said used to flow in the conversations. Sameer was also same kinda guy, he just spoke his heart, or I shud say there were not much things to hide. But this afternoon everything was as normal as it could be, he had a nice lunch cooked by his mother in his lunch box which he used to enjoy every day, he already had an argument with his teachers about increasing his marks in some unit test, his lunch was as usual being forcefully shared among the classmates and everything that he could ever expect from his life was there. Then he saw this sunshine girl, the girl whom he always admired, the girl whom he always aspired for, whom he always dreamt of. But he was unaware that this moment wud b the last in normal and content life of his, he would no more be the same. Now he wud b having many things to hide, many things to say but which he would never, he will change. And this change will be for good. He almost gave himself at her first hello. He would pretend as being unalergetic to the contagious behaviour of the girl. She seemed like sunshine in his life ( which now seemed to him as a dark one). Yeah it is always good to realise this as early as possible. He would have all these feelings in his heart, but would never tell it to her. But she had no feelings like that for him  or maybe he was too selfish to even think of that part. He could not ever give a name to this feeling for about next two year but with time it only grew stronger. Now two years had past and some incident did occur which converted these feelings into one of respect. Now he respected her with all his heart and honesty. He was almost like her follower, admirer and what not. She used to be in his thoughts all the time, and got to learn many things from her and it was all going well. And then after some years sameer thought that he was grown enough to name that relation as love and tried communicating this to her and her reaction was wierd and non-human. But whatever she did can never be wrong. Thinking of this Sammer went on with life and somehow was still in contact with the girl, coz I guess there was no reason for not being in.  Also he always liked talking to her. And she responded too, which confirmed that the light coming from other side of the tunnel was not a train, there was hope. Time passed and the two of them started to come closer to each other or this was what sameer was interpreting from it. He always thought it to be a two way street which was actually a one way, coz may be he never tried to construct a two way street.He never had right words at the right time because of his hideous nature. Or maybe due to first experience with expressing his feelings he was cautious and wanted it to go on as far as possible. He was rowing a boat in the river which is bound to dry of all its water soon. But somehow he enjoyed all this feeling of uncertainity in life, this walking on a thin line kind of feeling. But this was where he went wrong. You should never leave anything un-said, what ever it is, and whenever it is, and never compromise which. But life went on. Because of this liking ( or a secret liking ) which he was developing for her ,some obvious secret expectations started to grow in him. And this is the first drawback of not speaking things, it blinds your vision, it makes a shield around your heart and prevents more emotions to come out. And life went on for the girl as usual, but for boy it was no more a simple ball game it has grown quiet complex, he was now introvert enough to speak his heart out and this cowardness was decreasing hs confidence, He would spend days and nights dreaming of the girl, he could have done anything to talk to her, to see her happy, to see her smiling as ever. But he would never speak his heart, he would hide it with a silly joke of his, he would fake it all thru the day, but never express it. This acclerated the process of piling up of non-expressed feelings, of many expectations, and all the related things. Now one day the girl did not come up to his expectations , he behaved normally deleting that one from his expectation list, but the process continued and he was ending up deleting almost all of them and he was waiting for a day till the list would be exhausted ( he was strong enuff to wait for that day) and he will find something else to think of. But then she would never let that list exhaust( or maybe his thought of her) and the list was ever growing, he added more to it than he deleted everyday.  And as a result of all these lists there was not much to say now. So the silence or some awkward talks took place. But he somehow had to put an end to all this suffering either by a confession or by consoling himself. The former option did not seem feasible to him as of his situation now.

But anyway this was the story of a normal guy Sameer. We have many things to learn from him. We should never leave many loop holes in our life, and not leave so many things unspoken which forces us to think "if-only" the situations might have been in your favour. Just get it off your chest right now, there are more beautiful things than thoughts to think of..

Friday, February 06, 2009

Jaane ye nasha kya hai...
Sab Kuch nya sa hai ..
Dunia hi badalne ko hai..
Jaise koi milne ko hai !!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

It all started with an idea of walking some distances with his already broken ankle. Though sameer managed to do it in the evening, but it made him a bit tired. He had walked all around the market place and was now resting in a cafetaria. His ankle was paining a bit, pain was now conquering the realms of his muscle. But sameer was not a guy who would stand still and watch all this happen as a spectator, he knew how to fight pain, the only way is self control. And sameer was thorough with this skill. He had controlled the pain to a large extent, nobody passing by could guess from his posture and expressions that he was at all injured. He seemed like he was sitting on the extra player`s bench on a soccer field and would just run with all enthusiasm when given a chance. He had found a way to be positive with life, if you are positive towards it it would be positive for you. Many people fall down but its only the ones who rise after those falls that matter. Rest just help adding to the crowd. Now Sameer had enough energy and will power to take the next bus and reach home in time to make dinner for him. Everything seemed to be perfect, life was like all roses for him. But somehow this funny incident happened to occur to him the same night. Coz a story with all the positive things flowing in the direction of the center stage and all good things happening to the main role seems like a bollywood story. And I ain`t a bollywood script writer. I`m a normal guy who sees or interprets both ups and downs as a part of life. And deteriorations as no such things to hide.

So coming back to the incident that happened the same night. He reached home and was as usual cooking dinner for him. And was planning to watch something on the television side by side while having the pleasure to eat the delicious food cooked by none other than himself. Somehow he got struck to a movie being broadcasted ,and started actually liking it. And now he wanted to watch it till the very end. It was already 10 in the night. It would take another 2 hours for him to complete the movie. And then he had an interview at 8ò clock next morning. So he had to decide, but he did`t even think of deciding, he just went with the flow and enjoyed the movie all along. Now when it was almost quater to 12 he realised that tommorow he has to go for the interview. So as soon as the movie finished he went to sleep or rather tried doing so and convinced him for almost next 20 minutes that he has to sleep. He was almost fighting with the freshness and insomniasm (maybe due to the stress of next day's interview) which he was experiencing at the moment. But after 30 minutes of long battle involving many methodologies like chanting some mantras, thinking of his beloved, etc...etc.., sleep succeded which it always does, and he was snoring hard. But somehow he was still worried of the interview which was quiet obvious due to the subsequent happening which occured. It was 3:25 AM and there were some movements in his bed, he was disturbed by something, dunno what . But now again he was struggling with his quilt. Soon his hand came out of the quilt and straight to the desk kept adjacent to the bed, he was swinging it all over the desk probably in search of his clock. YES, he was searching the clock ,and let me tell you it is no ordinary clock. It was a circular one with no numbers engraved on it, just lines for each of the quaters. And then as he was in a sudden rush to check the time, he did check it but by mistake but thnxs to his unique clock he somehow managed to invert it by 180 degrees and ended up seeing the time as 9:05 AM instead. And he grew pale, as if he had seen a cobra hissing in front of him. He just jumped off the bed and in no time he was brushing his teeths in front of the mirror and was quiet nervous to get ready as soon as possible. As if he had got access to some magic tricks he was ready in just 10 minutes and was rushing to pack his bag and leave. As he was on his door, just to check the time according to the schedule of the bus checked the time. His hand reached in his pocket to grab his cell phone which fortunately showed the digital time and sonn he didn't even had the option to laugh at the blunder he had just commited. He didn't know what to do now. The best thing was to sleep it off and he did it .. though embaressed of himself. But remember he is a strong guy with all the will power to sustain these kind of small insults.. !!