Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I have two reasons to celebrate tonight...
One is the new year eve which everybody will be celebrating..
Also with this blog I complete my 100 blogs... So I would be double as happy as all of others ;)...
And also on this new year eve m planning of some resolutions, and some real ones...!!

Monday, December 29, 2008

I dunno if it happens with everybody but it does with me..
When m too close to get what I had always dreamt of, I just give up. I mean some give up unknowingly that they are soo close , and they give up coz all their passion has been exhausted.. But for me I can visualise me gettin what I had always longed for.. Still I don't wanna get to it, dont wanna end it. May be I get too much involved in the way to it and like the journey more than the destination, and slow down my pace to enjoy the journey to its fullest.. Or may be when m too close I think that m not worthy of it, I do not deserve it, I just somehow ignore all the effort I had put in to get to it.. Though I know that I just a need a last stroke and it would be mine.. Sometimes I'm led to think that once I get it my life would be aimless.. !!
I dunno wat it is, whether it is me who always is caught in this dillema, but I need to find an answer to it.. Or maybe I know the answer and the solution too, but I soo much enjoy the ambiguity that I wanna remain the same way.....

But this is how my life is.. And I just LOVE it !!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

The only constant thing in my life is "CHANGE".. !!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Sometimes in life we jut jump off the cliff, hoping that somebody will come and give us wings to fly...
I have done this several times, jumped off the same cliffs too, several number of times, and all that kept this passion alive was hope.. but hope has its limits too !! Every jump has its own story with it, but I gotta learn from them , rather than make them a sentimental story in my life book. They should be there as a torch showing me the way to lead life always...
Sometimes we get somebody to fly with us, and life is all roses, but sometimes we fall straight down as a rock, though sometimes we might be falling slowly.. But we should learn from this, and not try and commit that suicide from same cliff again... This way we will end up being crazy and a person not even worth of anybody's sympathy... !!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

No blogging any more

I started blogging to give words to my thoughts... And blogging makes me think more, thinking more makes me curse life more, Cursing brings negativity and ends up making me a psychotic person which I never want !!
So I give up writing, I mean blogging for sometime now...
I really need to "get a life"

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

IIT Delhi online Pride/parade

Today, that is 26th November,2008 started the online pride parade for all IIT alumni across the world. I got a message from my friend requiring me to change my status on G-talk to my entry number. I promptly checked for status of my colleagues, they all have changed it to their respective entry numbers. I almost instantly changed it, without thinking and this was the first time I did it without thinking. But then I was really curious about what it is all about. I asked many of my friends, but got a neutral response from most of them , some were defensive , and told me that they did not start it so they are not the correct person to ask, some were just going with the flow, but I did not find anybody curious like me to find the reason behind all this and whats the logic. Some mistook it for a parade, but to make it clear it is just to make u feel pride of being an IIT-alumni. It was amazing to be confronted by the fact that most of them were blindly following it, or maybe it should be like that and I was only one thinking soo much on it, or maybe the my opinion is limited only to my friends.
But neway jo bhi hai, it felt good after looking at all the status with entry numbers, and reminding myself of my own. It used to be the most important thing of IIT life. It was more of a nostalgia than pride. But the end game is that it felt good, so no more thought process.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Not a Confession
I may be the most emotional person, and I like people to respect my emotions, but if I don't respect their's how can I even expect them to respect mine. But being in the flow of emotions, sometimes I just lose control over my words and may end up doing something which I don't want people to do with me. But god has blessed some people with such a graceful attitude that they don't react to my insults, but some do. And the harder I try to understand this, the more I get lost. SO I better stay away from bonding with people, and disturbing their life. I would rather wanna be lost in myself, and it doesn't even matters even if I insult myself, discourage myself, I have solutions for all them, but no one can ever take back their words.This doesn't mean that I wanna be lost in my world of dreams again, I have quit dreaming, it only makes mirages of life which are false images, which have to break one day or other, and with me knowing the fact there is no sense in pursuing them. I wanna walk with myself. It is me with me, me against myself ,and me encouraging me now. There's no other divine feeling than to spread happiness, live for somebody's happiness, but u need to be happy to spread it, otherwise all you do is selling a dream, which is senseless.
Also, I can forgive but never forget. This stands true only for certain situations in my life, when I was really hurt. But even after knowing that I cannot express my feelings to that person, I just go on and on. Either I should forget after forgiving, or never forgive. But I never believe in revenges, so the former works for me.
I never want to hurt anybody. The person who I can disturb the most is me myself. Rather I should say that this is what is in my mind. But I can never implement it. I just end up creating a mess, may be due to the spectrum of emotions and thoughts I have. But I don't have a solution against it till now, hoping for time to show me the path. And luck and me have never been on speaking terms, so I just leave rest on to my destiny.
Finally, the things which I want the most in life, the things of which I dream all my life, I just never make the effort to get them. I dream of them , and start believing that my task is done. And when I get a reality check that it isn't true, I just break up into pieces.Basketball is my favorite sports, but to be honest I have really never struggled hard for it. I just dreamed myself flying in air and dunking over a 6 foot guy, making that jab move, passing that alley-oop, getting the ball in air, and smash there goes the dunk. And the very next day I get to the court dreaming of myself as the star player, and when I get to know that my shoots are also not going in, I just can't bear it and start finding faults in something else.And then maybe if I have a lucky day, I may give a chance to the practice sessions, and try and improve my game, which might help for quiet sometime, but then again there goes the dreamer, back in his fairy land, where everything is possible without any effort.I always want it the easy way, never strive for anything. Basically m a lazy person looking for somebody to come and show me the path, and finally realizing that I was on the path I only needed to wake up and walk.

- Myself

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Das Vidaniya

This is no movie review, neither am I any movie critic to do so. But this movie is one of the movie which touched me. It just grabbed my heart and pumped it, made it beat faster, it glued my eyes to it. Though I was not at all sentimental during the movie. But had a great feeling after watching it. Many of us including me spend the life being an introvert pretending to be an extrovert sometimes. And for me the scene is even worst, I cannot even pretend to be an extrovert for long. I give up to the worldly emotions. But the main concept is to be an extrovert to yourself, you should be clear what you want in life, and for me that is peace. I had written something similar earlier, so don't feel like writing it again.
But the main funda is to be true to yourself, and not be lost in the race soo much that we lose focus from the aim. Its true there are no beginnings and no ends, but the momentary starts and ends really matter in life, those small journey which add up to the bigger round trip (coz we come back from where we started) called life are also important.We can achieve almost anything we want in life, it just depends on the choice we make. But we are so much lost in it that we forget to make the choices.

The second good thing I liked in the movie is that he[main lead] can achieve all the elementary things without any trouble, but when it comes to his closed ones it is all a different ball game. He is too much hurt that he wants to commit suicide. So emotions are delicate things, and treat them as one, don't play with them.

Finally to summarize, life is a journey in which we have to walk alone, and we don't know of the destination, but we have to enjoy the trip, and make sure we don't miss anything. Some spend their life searching for the end results, till they experience it, some are lost in the way so much that they never even have the chance to experience the journey. Also love is an important ingredient of life.If you have someone to walk with you on the path of life, the journey becomes more sweet, enjoyable and less tiring. I define love as a Car, which helps travel miles on the road of life, the luxury of car varies from person to person. But the main problem is some people spend their life searching for a driver, and never look for the car. The beautiful thing is that once you get into this car it never needs to be repaired or fueled. It just goes on till you have the driver :).And last but not the least, truly there are hurdles, there are setbacks, but why behave as a stranger to your own life. Face it and get away with it. Spread happiness, be a little selfish in making the life you are living in, more happier and merrier. And also if you start critically thinking of anything you can find faults in each and every damn part of life, and if you start thinking like this you can never live life, can never walk on the road. So stop judging, start accepting !!If you can do something for it, do it right away, but never judge..
Walk with your feet on ground and head held high in sky. The empty road is looking towards you and wanting you to traverse it happily !!


Monday, November 17, 2008

Had a Nice Day..... :)

Had this happened 2 years before I would have projected it as the worst day of my life, this post wud not even have come into existence. But there is a new positive energy in me these days. It so happened that I had to go for a visit to Nuclear Power Plant with co-internees from all over the world working at different parts in Switzerland. Most of them, I have met earlier almost all of them. We had to be at the platform at 8:24 in the morning to catch the train. I reached there at 8:15 well dressed, and perfectly ready. If you know me this would be a strange thing to see, coz I never wake up befor 9, and then getiing up from bed is all different story. So as was expected people were really amazed, they were least expecting me. Anyway we moved on. We boarded the train, and after around 20 minutes of travel we reached Dottingen, where a bus was waiting to take us to the Power Plant. Suddenly someone asked that do u all have ur passports and bang, I realised I was the only one not carrying it.Soon, I was in a rush to go back and get the passport anyway, I was talking to the organiser that I can get back in an hour and can I be allowed at that time. While I was doing this, some of my colleagues were sitting in the bus, some were really worried for me. And it was a nice feeling to realise atleast you have some people in a stranger country who care for you, and even from whom it was least expected. Look in her eyes were that of a worried mind, and I dont know how I could console her, so rather than saying anything I just hurried back home. Then somehow, on the way back I managed to miss the train, and reached the Dottingen station 1:30 hours late. Now I had to take the Bus from there, and the main thing was that I just knew the name of the region power plant was located in. I sat in the bus. It was going through all those beautiful meadows, hill after hill it was crossing. I was just enjoying the view and was planning to come here next weeken for a hike.Suddenly I realised that I had travelled for about 30 minutes in the bus and still not reached anywhere, and hold on a second do I know where I wanna reach. I immediately appeared in front of the bus driver asked him about the Power plant, and it is so very much difficult to communicate in German when you know only a few words from the language. But somehow I managed to both ask him ,and understand his answer. I had missed the stop and if I get down at next stop I can take the next bus back. I got down, crossed the road ,justz to check on the schedule at the bus stop that next bus is in 2 hours. At first I just laughed at my destiny, that how graceful god is, I know I could not come next week for the hike coz it is gonna be snow, so god gave me an oppurtunity to live my dream today. Also from far away I could see the power plant, and dream of reaching there in time was clouded. As the tour was only for 3 hours. And even if I rushI would just be there in time to see all of smiling faces coming out.So I just thought relax ,and enjoy the nature. I was on a highway, cars going at around 200 past me. I diverged my path a little bit,and started walking towards the hill. Man, the view was just mind blowing, and winter was also on its peak. But I was really enjoying it. I had no regrets of the day. It was all seeming so perfect.I was feeling good to get up early in the morning, to realise that there are people who care, to realise that god helps fullfill my wishes. And if there had been someone who I had shared it with at that very moment, I would have got all the negative energy with all the negative thoughts of being lost. But I did not want to lose all this happinees. I just wanted to be lost in my own world for some time. Generally this happens, coz most of the people look at the negative side of all the things I tell them I had done, so to avoid all that negative energy I just tell this to all of them negatively, that I have lost it and all. And then instead of giving negative energy people console me. But today I did not want to be involved in all this ambiguity. I just had a positive feeling. And nobody could have changed it at that moment. Than I felt like talking to a "person", whom I know would never give me that negative energy, would appreciate me, though her words may suggest the opposite. I ended up calling her, and tell her all the story ,and she came up to my expectations. It felt good to talk to her and share all this, though I exhausted all my balance and was left with no contact to the outside world.
Then I walked past all those hills and green pastures of land. Really it looked green till the horizon. I was at the country side. Walking I witnessed a single house in middle of nowhere. It was really beautiful and strange, I hope nobody used to live there. But it had all those small dolls kept all around it. There were some sitting on the fence as the guardians, some at the windows njoing the weather. It was so sweet experience to see all this. Then soon I could see the city. As I was approching it I managed to get lost again. I just ended up in a field with nowhere to go further. Then I happened to see a tractor coming my way.I asked the tractor driver that which way should I go. He got off his tractor and walked me to the road and showed me the way and went back only when he was convinced that I knew the way. How helping are people of Switzerland. Then finally after a little while I found a bus stop, and reached the Dottingen station. And I saw all the people from my group waiting there for the next train, as they come every hour. It was about to come in next 5 minutes. I had to buy the ticket, also everybody was interested in knowing where I was all the time. I was anxiously telling them, and contradicting them that I really had a Nice Day....And buying the ticket was again a long story, but the conclusino was that I missed the train and had to wait at the platform for next 1 hour. And one of our crew member was soo nice to wait on the platform for me. Then I noticed that I could see the sun. How lucky I was,if I would have been on that train I would not have been able to see this beautiful scene of sun illuminating the surroundings all around. Then the guy waiting with me advised to go to a nearby cafe and spend some time. I took a Hot Chocolate and a Chocolate Truffle and njoied it in the warm sun. It was really mind freshning. Finally I took the train and went back home with all these sweet memmories and memorable experiences....
And I conclude that I HAD A NICE DAY

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

I remember a famous dialogue from a movie which I used to admire the most during college life...It goes like "Jimmy says, if you love someone you say it, right then, aloud, otherwise the moment just passes you by".... So true.. !!
Life is not definite, like two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen make water every time, every time... !! Things change with time, and so do feelings.. Not only love, the rule stated above applies to everything. At a time you dream of something in life, and at that time you have full energy to do that, you have visualized your target in your dreams. You should start working on it, I had rather say try and do it at that time only. Coz as the time passes by and you wait for situation to become favorable, which it will never be more favorable than you having the full zeal. All other external factors are least important, it matters how much you value it !! Also this idealogy is task specific. Some tasks are meant to be done with some delay , and you might have dreamt them also in such a way, u need to wait, but in process of waiting you should not also lose focus..
Above all as Jimmy says, she says about love, and that is also an important thing in life, gives you a trust, gives you a confidence, gives you a rope to cling on to during the high tide time of life. And mind you this is a kind of opportunity which does not comes time and again, and the beautiful thing is that you don't have to be cautious enough to know its presence. You will know it by yourself. So enjoy the beautiful life and never forget what "jimmy says "...
Also as Joker truly say... click here


Monday, November 10, 2008

Humour is a very sensitive thing.............

Humour is a tendency of certain cognitive experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement.Having a sense of humour is a good attribute. What can be better than to make people laugh, to distribute happiness, to give people some moments to forget the pains of their life. But having a good sense of humour is something else. Everybody can be funny at times, and make people laugh. But a person can truly distribute happiness if he himself is happy. Also one important thing is that one should be strong enough to laugh on himself. But this is not enought to go and make people laugh. These are just the pre-requisites. Afterall being a joker is not everybody's cup of tea.
It is not that you crack jokes at every action and everyone. It is good if you can do that sensibly, and make people laugh. But a person with a good sense of humour is one who makes everybody listening to it laugh. It should not be that only few people are laughing and other are being laughed . At times it goes with the moment. But the person(s) who are being laughed on should not be hurt by your words. Then it is no humour anymore...
So spread happiness if you can, and if you can't just enjoy your own .. !!


Sunday, November 09, 2008

Words matter....

I used to be the person to whom words never mattered. It used to be the feelings which I valued the most...Used to have those abstract communications with people and keep on thinking that there is no communication gap.. But recently I have realized that words really matter, but if there are no feelings and only words, somehow, someday it would be caught as a fake, and should never be pursued.. But if there are feelings, they should necessarily be accompanied by nice words, otherwise all goes in vain, it is not worth it.It so happened that my only friend for whom I care the most in this universe,I will cry if she is sad, I will be happy in her happiness, I will try to solve each and every issue disturbing her life (though keeping the solutions to myself, rather than conveying them), whose every word I value in life, almost each moment I think about her, and cant imagine at least my present without talking to her ,don't feel like finding anybody else, coz nobody seems to be better than her. But somehow when she recited me some nice words, though they dint had any tune, they were not any song, but they seemed to me as a song of my life, with which I can live without any regrets ... Then I realised that words really matter.. And also they should exactly reciprocate feelings from your heart, no psuedo-thigies.. .otherwise everything seems to be pseudo, and no matter how hard you try then you can never return back to living your dreams, because dreams are pure not psuedo. Being good with my words is a habbit I would like to make a part of my life.
Earlier I used to think that if there is communication gap, then the talk is not worth it. But my definition of communication gap used to lack the basic substance in it. When there is no communication how can there even be a communication gap.. firstly u need to communicate. I mean u need to say some words. Then the other thing that matters is that, you should know the other person so well that you should know how to communicate your message.. And if then there is a communication gap, that is you don't even know that how you can get him/her to understand your feeligs, that is you don't even know what he/she might interpret about your words, I guess than it is not worth it. (And here I'm not talking about proffessional issues, there you have to communicate some way or the other, no emotions involved there)..

Anyway, to cut the crap, rather than blogging, writing too much, I must also learn to speak and express my feelings.. And in a way that other person should understand them the way I want them to be conveyed.. !!


Friday, November 07, 2008

Ambiguity - 1

To add to the list of so many ambiguities in my life, I recently found one more. I’m emotional by nature, I know and that I cannot change how hard I try. I have extra tear glands, I know. I don’t wanna think of me being emotional, coz this will make me more emotional, and the vicious circle will go on. I better stay away from this and go on with life. But if life had been so simple, why would there be vacancies for people like Psychologist, and why would people a weird subject as Humanities in their Engineering degrees. So the thing is that life is a bit complex to understand, but simple to live J. And as for me the ambiguities keep on coming to me as somebody smashed a mathematical problem, and I had been told to solve it , and also the difficulty of the problem is directly proportional to the time I spend in solving it, that is the difficulty level goes on increasing with time. And all these problems are smashed on my soul by nobody else but by myself. I make them and spend time finding solutions to them. And as soon as a problem is over, randomly do I rest before starting a new search. This is endless. And the latest one is related to the attachments we have with certain things in life. When I’m attached to somebody or something, which I do very fastly, it is very hard for me to absorb the departure of that entity from my life. And when I know the end is near, I prefer to better be away, but then I always think that why be away even before the departure. And this puts more stress on my limbic system. And if I try to be as usual, I constantly remind myself that one day it will be all gone and it will hurt, so better don’t involve that much. And after that point I cannot be normal for sometime. I never had a solution to this ambiguity in my life. I have just spent endless time solving it and increasing its complexity, and finally diverting my attention to some other existing problem.
I guess this problem is not meant to be solved.. It is meant to be there unsolved to always tell us the existence of life, and put some sparkles in it, to tell us the value of someone else. So better take it as a healing process than a destruction process. I mean go on solving it, but don’t get involved. More it gets complex, more you will get to know the profound qualities of this beautiful life. It is like the story of Sisyphus. After all, a man condemned to pushing a rock up a hill with full knowledge that it will roll back down, requiring him to start pushing anew, is not the sort of story that you'd expect to have a happy ending. Even the rock of our self-exploration happens to roll back down; we will have learned quiet a many things. But the beauty is that it never rolls down. There are a whole lot of people in life who will never let it roll back down…..

Monday, November 03, 2008

When you are young you think you can connect to many people,
Later in life you realize that it only happens a few times .. !!


Thursday, October 30, 2008

I woke up in the morning today... And it was bright day...It was perfect and complete.. I opened my window, everything was shining. White snow has covered everything, it was white all around, also the sky was white, so it was all looking like a white sheet of paper on my window. Snow had been falling all night, and now it has gathered like 10cms or 15cms, and everything was literally covered by snow... It just felt soo nice to be at a place like this... Everything was soo beautiful... On the way to work I preferred walking, I could see the moutains , completely white, children playing with snow on the way, the river had some white spots in between due to the rocks in it... Everything seemed to be new and better.... Awesome experience... I just want the weather to be like this for next 1 month (which I know it will be, for next 6 months).. ;)
Nothing else on my mind these days..


Snow Fall
It was perfect... It is said that winters start just after Deepawali.. And that is today.. So as I was coming to the office today I was feeling a bit chill, and before I forget to mention it has been continuously raining since last 2 days.. to help decrease the temperature... But today snow fall started, At around 10:30 AM in the morning I could see the snow flakes dropping down from sky through the window in front of my desk..It was really awesome.. Also cold breeze was blowing to make it more romantic. It was soo cold I could not even go for lunch.. I was really happy today. I talked to many of my friends in India and shared the happiness... to some I was talking after a real long felt good !! It was truly great feeling !! While coming back.. it was like 6:30PM, still snow was falling, I went to the supermarket, and then to play.. I spent almost an hour and half, It was 8 in the night, when I came out the weather had not changed much.. I decided to go by bus instead of cycling back home.. But somehow I changed my plan, I just wanted to experience this first snowfall.. It is approximately 2 Km ride. I decided to cycle back.. cold wind was also blowing.. And most importantly I did not had any gloves, cap or anything.. Just a t-shirt and a jacket over it.. !! It reminded me of the time when in India I went home on my motorbike, to experience the chill.. BUt this was much small ride.. Though the effects were almost the same..I got my hands swollen in just 10 minutes of ride.. But it was mind blowing experience, steering through the wind and through the snow.. It was clouding my vision.. I had to put one hand in front of my eyes to prevent snow from entering my eyes..Finally when I reached home, literally I could not feel my hands...I had to sit in the quilt for quiet some time to get back to normal.. It is 12 in night right now, and it is still snowing..
I'm just loving it.......


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

there is no market for sorrow.....
so never advertise ur feelings......


Tuesday, October 28, 2008

WIthout failing you do not know your weaknesses. And losing again and again is also a weakness. But accepting your weaknesses is not the way to live life. You have to try and improve yourself to not to commit such mistakes again.
But sometimes in life failures give sucha set back to person that he is all broken down. These are times when your real attitude towards life is at test. Those are the times during which most of the jwells of this planet have been lost, some talent goes to trash. People are so much heart felt that they just quit and lose trust in life. They are also not at mistake, coz it really hurts sometimes, but if they cannot pass that phase I guess they dont deserve it. I mean a person who cannot handle these emotions of being down, would also not be so good to handle the emotions when he is at the top of the world, coz both are strong feelings. So you just have to be calm and quiet to be successful.

I have not failed 10,000 times, I have found 10,000 ways which wont work!(T. Edison)


Sunday, October 26, 2008

Sometimes silver also shines as Diamond, though it may not glitter .. !!
This is my 50th blog and I want this blog to be good. From past 2 days all I had been doing is thinking of life.. So here I begin my blog..[Silver Jublee blog]

It takes courage to climb a mountain, but without climbing the mountain how will we get to see such scenic beauties... Rest you may, but never stop... Whatever you do, be it anything, just give your best, and if you cant better quit at earlier stages rather then repenting later. And by giving your bes I mean it. I mean your 100% ,try and go till the end..And the most important part is you should know your 100%,you should know what you are capable of. Though you may dream high, but never forget where you belong. Have commitments in life. Commitment is doing the thing you said you would do long after the mood you said it in has left you. BE careful while using the word commitment in your life. And when you use it, please never forget it. It will always make you feel proud of yourselves, once you attain what you always strived for..
Dream !!, it always helps but you should also be practical in life. Never live in a dream world. Be fully aware of both sides of the coin. Being positive in life and dreaming are all together different things..Being positive gives you a kick, gives you a positive energy to help you do whatever you are upto...Contrary to it dreaming only helps you visualize your aim, but never achieve it.. !!
But sometimes we are so much engaged in the wordly emotions that we think it is better to live in a dreamy world, where all the promises are completed, nobody ever betrays you, you are always happy...but world is not like that my dear. Other than emotions there are so many beautiful things on this lovely planet you should care for. I know it always hurts to detatch from people, it is natural, why we always hope for days to have more than 24 hours when we are with someone close, why the talks never end even though the topics may be exhausted, why we realise the importance of all those random time spent when somebody close goes away, may be we would never have realised their importance without being away from them. People come and go in life, but if we don't let them go we will never be able to know ourselves well. Log aate hain, chale jaate hain, yaadien reh jaati hain. And rather than crying over all those memmories, we should cherish them. Thinking of them again and again, only hurts and makes those memories look ugly. So we should rather decorate them in our slambook of lives, and refer to it whenever we feel down. These memmories should be there to boost us up, not to make us feel down... And we should always thank all the people who have come in our lives, god knows we will ever get that oppurtunity again or not. I thank all the people who have come in ly life and created a difference, made me feel special, made me feel inspired, gave me the zeal to go on in life, taught me how to laugh at every failure, without them I cannot imagine my life to be complete.
I dont want any shoulder to cry, dont want any mouth to advice, any hand to support, for all that god has given me enough power and if not I would like to fight for it. All I want is somebody to listen to me, have that feeling of trust in someone and by god's grace I had all those people in life ....


Thursday, October 23, 2008

I feel like a boy playing on the sea-shore diverting his attention to the pebbles, to find a smoother pebble, while the vast ocean of truth lay before him undiscovered...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

everybody is free to feel good .. !!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A Beautiful Heart

One day a man declared that he had the most beautiful heart. It was perfectly in shape and smooth and shining. An old man came to him and claimed that his heart may not be as beautiful as old man's own heart. The young man took a look at the heart of old man. It was beating fastly with all scars and rough edges on it. The man defended his opinion and countered that how can such a dirty heart be a beautiful heart at all. The old man then explained, though my heart may be full of scars and tears. But each scar represents a person to whom I have given my love. I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them. And often they give me a piece of theirs which fits in the empty space.But because the pieces are not exact, sometimes they are smaller, sometimes bigger, therefore I have all those rough edges. All those remind of the love I have shared. Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away without getting any piece from other person.This is the reason for all those cavities. Afterall giving love is taking a chance. Although these voids may be painful, but they remain open reminding me of love I have for those people too. And I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now you see What True Beauty is ? Did you protect your heart so much that it is perfect without scars ? Have you ever touched someones's life ?
Sometimes it hurts but this is when life counts

- Joker

Monday, October 20, 2008

Princess of my life

I dreamt of my princess,

So pure, so beautiful,
I was lost in her eyes,
Will always be thankful,
Will try to be wise,
Will never be awful...
always be nice.
I dont wanna lose her !!
This world would be a paradise if she is by my side,

Will be delicate like a glass,
Would never let her break,
Will watch her from far,
would never ever overtake,
Let her spread the magic ....
I don't wanna lose her !!
This world would be a paradise if she is by my side,

May god be partial in blessing her,
May I get all the pain,
I am mad about her, I surrender,
Don't wanna let it go in vain,
I dont wanna cry again ,over and over again !!
I dont wanna lose her !!
This world would be a paradise if she is by my my side !!


Sunday, October 19, 2008

I had read this story when I was in 9th standard ... I clearly remember it was one of a shining morning of month August, and it was a Sunday... !! The story really touched me, and it always does when I remember that day... It goes like this....
Once upon a time there was a boy, like a normal boy he went to school, studied there, played after school and came back.. !! But this boy had a special affection for playing football, he would stay on the field till it was soo dark that he couldn't see the ball. Though he didn't had the talent but the hard work was there. He would do anything for playing football. And the good thing was that his dad supported him in all that, he would stay with him in the field till he wanted to. He never forced him to study, or leave playing football, what he did was just supported him. Then the boy got admission in college. There also football dominated most of his time.. Till 2nd year he didn't even get in the College team, but as he approached 3rd year, by the end of 2nd year, during the trials he was accepted for the extras in the team.. !! He was very happy with this new happening in his life. Though he was only selected for extras, he practiced more than the normal players did. He never missed a practice day. Throughout the third year he didn't get to play much, he was replaced generally in final minutes of match. But this never dis-appointed him, his dedication towards the game stayed, and moreover it has increased over time. And the constant thing was that his Dad never missed any match of his. He was always there was to support him.

Finally came his last year of college life. And as the team was announced, he saw his name in the first 11 players. He was no more playing as an extra. He was very happy. After two months he had to play a match for the college. He practiced a lot. And finally only 3 days were remianing for the match. He was practicing on the field. And suddenly his coach came to him with a paper in his hand. It was a fax from the boy's house. His dad has had a heart attack , and was no more. The coach didn't know how to tell this to him, he simply handed the paper to the boy, and told him to go home and no need to return for the match. He should be there, and they need him. He went home.

On the day of the match, their team was playing against the strongest college team in their Zone. It had to be a tough match. The first half ended with an no goals from both sides. And just in the begining of second half a goal was scored against our [refrring to boy's college team] team. And now the match became interesting. The other team defended well. And only 20 minutes were remaining for the match to end, and other team was strong enough to still maintain that lead of 1.Suddenly it was noticed that out of no where a boy emerged from the dressing room and came straight to the coach of our team, and asked him to give him a break in next change. He wanted to play. The coach had no option bit to try him. coach allowed him to go in. He went in with a zeal. He took the ball, moved it to the right, moved it to the left, did 2-3 cross overs, and finally went for a GOAL.. Yeah it was an equalizer.. And finally towards the ending minutes, as a result of a brilliant pass given by him, one more goal was scored, and our team finally won..There were celebrations all over the field.. It was such a close match.. All the audiences were just stunned.. The celebrations ended till late night.. everybody was happy..After everything was over and all celebrations came to an end, everybody had gone home. There was just a single person sitting in the field. It was our hero of the day, the star boy. But he was crying.. The coach went upto him and asked for that why was he crying, after all we had won the match.. He told the coach that , you know that I played for the team but always as an extra, but do you also know that my dad always came to see all my matches..But today was the only match, in which I had to play as a player, and I knew my dad would be watching me from up there.. I did it all for him !!


Friday, October 17, 2008

Piece by Piece...Inch by Inch

The struggle of life is endless. People want to have a rich life, a prosperous life, some want a happy life, some want a famous life... But what most of us forget in achieving a certain kind of life is that we need to live first to put these adjectives on our lives.. I mean we need to have a life....whatever your aim maybe, the "struggle to live" is everywhere and it depends on your vision whether it is clouded or broad..!! And a life without struggle is boring..If there are no challenges in life a person would spend the life thinking and the thought process would create challanges in life... Even the peace has challenges within it... !!
There is a race everywhere, be it your profession, be it about the clothes you wear, be it the attitude you wear, or the knowledge you possess...This all depends on the priority you give to them...
But in every race you have just inches to win over, just pieces to cover.. One more step and you could have been the winner, but somebody did it already... You have to win inch by inch, piece by piece..All the inches are necessary though they may not seem to be so, but when all the inches or pieces are joined together they make a big difference....So never may be losing an inch..!!
I can write all this but I dont know whether I will ever write in the rule book governing my I even have a rule book of life.. !!..But apart from all this.........
I dont wanna be Mr.X,I dont wanna be Mr,Y, or some person who is known for their wisdom in respective fields..I dont wanna be nobody..I aint nobody...But when I look back, I just wanna say that I did it my way..


Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Why do people attach to someone/something so much that when they go away it hurts..I can never understand it.. and can never even try to repel it...I just wanna accept life as it comes..
I just wanna be free from all this logic.. I want to lose all the rationalism.. Just want to live in a dream world, where I honestly will believe in magic..Where nothing is truly impossible.. I just want to be crazy me.. the hopelessly romantic me.. !!
I just want to live every moment of life, it will never come back, and just want to do whatever heart says, and be bold enuff to say "Shut Up" to my mind and its logic .. !! At last we are what we think we are... !!
But did you notice how many times the word "want" has been repeated in the above briefing of my future life...
" Yaar life mai chahte to bahut log bahut kuch hain.."..
So Chillax... !!


Friday, October 10, 2008


The most waited and lovely season of the year :Autumn.. Come october and the roads will be filled with maple leaves of diiferent can find all of them, some yellow, some red, some purpule... I dont wanna go into the scientific reason for these different colors.. But I just enjoy this scenery.. It is soo mind freshening dunno y..And also if you notice carefully, all the plants shine and the sky is as clear as it can be.. The voice of birds is different...The leaves are departing from the trees, to be replaced by new ones.... Contrastingly we humans are in most depressing of moods during this process of departure in life... But it is also worth noticing that many things dont change, and also new leaves have already started budding on the trees,as the old ones leave..I dunno should I mix the philosphy or not.. But it is kinda not going with it.. yeah ? I will just carry on with appreciating it..
As I walk from my home I can see the streets flodded with leaves, and there are really tonnes of them, and on the mountains you can look at the trees, they are no more green, they are multi-colored. And green is no more the only color which makes the scenery perfect .. I guess the colors I saw are more than it !! Everybody around is looking so happy, everybody has a smile on their face, birds are chirping, and even the sound of river seems to be like it wants to express its happiiness.. Cool breeze is blowing and touching you again and again to make you realise that it is not a dream... you are livin it ...Man m really experienceing the autumn/fall as they say..." Fall " is rather a wrong terminology, as it is not a fall, but nature is at its peak during this season !!


Thursday, October 09, 2008

Live your Dreams

I can discuss this topic of dreams very broadly, as I myself am an intensive dreamer. I dunno what should I do of it... But I cant change it, this is me. I dream and dream of soo many things in life and like a star gazing child I just continue gazing at the stars and live in a life of hope, of dreams, some fullfilled, some not..But I like to live life that way, atleast I get to see the good part, even though it may be an illusion. Because me and luck were never on speaking terms. Dreaming has become a part of life, and with all its advantages and disadvantages I cannot give it up. Whenever I meet someone , I have dreams in my mind, I think about that other person in a way I would like to and assume that the feeling is mutual. I keep on pursuading this dream boat as far as possible, knowing that the river in which the boat is sailiing is gonna dry soon, still I just want to see the river dry... And on other hand I have many ideas which remain unspoken in my heart, Many lyrics have been written by this heart of mine, which have never been sang as a song.. I cannot dig up for all those hidden treasures and make a treasure box of them... And the best part is that I dont even miss them, I never dream of past, I dream in present, atleast it is better. Because dreaming of past is like kissing the mouth of a gun, it is like looking into your beloved's grave..
I'm that innocent star gazing child, who just wants to ignore the fact that earth is revolving, the stars at which he is gazing are never the same, they keep on changing. But still to every new star he looks at in the sky he looks the same way forgetting that they are ever changing, and also the intensity of the existing stars is changing..... Now all this child needs is a "sun", which has same intensity all throughout and can never be replaced.. But this child is not strong enough, or rather I should say is lazy enough not to go and search for this SUN... I like it that way... Atleast I nnever long for a SUN, if it comes by itself it would be better.. !!

And also rumour is that you should Live your Dreams, with so many dreams,if I start living them all, I would need million lifes for it.... So I better like to be a dreamer......


Tuesday, October 07, 2008

One day Maths teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.
Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.
That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.
On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. "Really?" she heard whispered. "I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!" and, "I didn't know others liked me so much," were most of the comments.
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in "Kargil" war and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never attended Funeral of a serviceman before. He looked so handsome, so mature.
The place was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk. The teacher was the last one to bless .
As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. "Were you Sanjay's math teacher?" he asked. She nodded: "yes." Then he said: "Sanjay talked about you a lot."
After the funeral, most of Sanjay's former classmates were there. Sanjay's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.
"We want to show you something," his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket "They found this on Sanjay when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it."
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Sanjay's classmates had said about him.
"Thank you so much for doing that," Sanjay's mother said. "As you can see, Sanjay treasured it."
All of Sanjay's former classmates started to gather around. Arjun smiled rather sheepishly and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home."
Prithwiraj's wife said, " Prithwiraj asked me to put his in our wedding album."
"I have mine too," Rashmi said. "It's in my diary"
Then Deepali, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. "I carry this with me at all times," Deepali said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: "I think we all saved our lists"
That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Sanjay and for all his friends who would never see him again.
The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.


So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

- Joker

Monday, October 06, 2008

Everybody has some purpose in life. Athletes strive daily to achieve a perfection in their games, Managers toil hard to fond new ways to manage infrastructure, Doctors have a passion to find newer and better methods to cure patients, Engineers want to make living easy for people, Students want to be at the top, A lover invents new ways daily to impress his beloved........... All have something. But if we remove this label from the respective persons, that is thinking as a human-being. What is your purpose in life, what do you want out of your life.. ?
Many people know their dreams be it anything and fight hard for it. As we grow in life we keep on getting these new labels according to the profession and the local purpose of life, that is the short term purpose of life keeps on changing. But what is the global that is long-term aim in life. For me it is "peace". And though during the coarse of life I would have to ignore my main aim in life, but finally I want peace in life. These short-term aims in life should not be that much as to change and over-power the long term aim in life..
It is generally said that having an aim in life is beneficial.. It makes life more meaningful. But this is not it, you should fight for it. Being a little restless in life is always better. But when it comes for what you want in life, "Just Go For It"..Yo dont have to think twice or it... If you have a passion in life and you give your 100% to achieve it, it doesnt even matters whether you lose or win at the end. Because the defeat is also like winning at the end of this battle. Atleast you tried, and now you know that it wont work and many people just dont try coz they have heard that it wont work, but you are sure of it. so its not your defeat, you have won in a way .. !!
Dreaming.. is not at all bad, but if it is limited, it should not be that you live your life in a dream... Dream, but try and live on those dreams if they are worth, otherwise just forget them....There should be something in life for which you just can give everything, be it a person or something else. Choice varies from person to person, but without such commitment in life, it is not worth living !!

Dream of something,
Sing for it,
After that it doesnt matters !!

- Joker

This name is not inspired by any movie or anything, was thinking of keeping this name from some time now,but didn't feel like it earlier.
Joker is person who always makes people laugh. He is always seen with a smile on face.Never will you see a joker cry,and even if a joker cries, it is to make you laugh. We have such a short life, but the tensions in life are multiple and countless. " Chaar din ki Zindagi hai, Aur gam 40 dinon ka "..Kuch log gam mai hi Zindagi nikaal dete hain..But joker is a person who spends his life in spreading happiness... Happiness is a wealth which grows with distributing.. Joker never allows somebody to approach closer, as somebody will come closer, he/she will start understanding the feelings of Joker.. But all people only know that joker never cries...So joker's image is lost and he is no more a joker... Joker also has feelings, but he doesnt wants anybody to understand them, he just fakes it with a small joke or something, but hides it everytime, because then it would all be a different ball game...Joker never thinks of himself, he always thinks of other people in this world...
So to deal with worldly emotions rather than being anyone else I would prefer to be a Joker....

"Why So Serious, Lets put a smile on this face of yours !! "


Sunday, October 05, 2008

Jaane kahaan gae vo din, kahate the teri raah mein
nazaron ko ham bichhaaenge
chaahe kahin bhi tum raho, chaahenge tumako umr bhar
tumako naa bhuul paaenge
jaane kahaan gae ...

mere kadam jahaan pade, sajade kiye the yaar ne - 2
mujhko rulaa rulaa diyaa, jaati hui bahaar ne
jaane kahaan gae ...

apani nazar mein aaj kal, din bhi andheri raat hai - 2
saayaa hi apane saath thaa, saayaa hi apane saath hai
jaane kahaan gae ...

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Today just everything looks so beautiful...From soo many days, here in Switzerland I didn't get to see a proper sunlight. It was all cloudy and cold these days..Yesterday it even rained ..though this kind of weather is very soothing...
But today in the morning I woke up, as usual late..but today I didn't hurry up for getting dressed and all.. I did it all slow and steady..There was a different sense of peace in my was all cool and calm !!
When I went out I saw the Sun shining, and believe me it was soo beautiful all around.. All the trees on the mountain in front of my appartment were really shining, and the river in the valley was no more looking like a normal river, it seemed to carry a different glow in it, as if it was not water, but some heavenly liquid...And birds were flying ..Everything was perfect..I didn't feel like riding my bike in such a weather.. I rather went by foot with my enjoy this to the fullest..And the sky was clear..all blue..and white patches in between.. Slow breeze was also blowing, so it was not soo hot, but sun had made its impact on all the surroundings........... Really switzerland is very beautiful !!

Ae mekhi hawa mujhe le jaa wahan
Mile zameen se jahan jhuk jhuk aasman
Jahan aankhon mein ho ek pyaara sama
Jahan waadiyon se uthe ruk ruk ke dhuan

Sheher door se hain kahin woh jagah
Jharanon kahai sho jahan daba daba
Jahan bolti hogi woh khamoshiyan
Parbaton pe ho jahan badliyan

Pedon ki chaaon ho jahan pe ghani ghani
Suraj ki kirnen ho jahan pe chani chani
Khushboo ho shaam ki jahan pe bheeni bheeni
Mile jahan pe chand se woh chandni

Mein wahan hoon ho tanhaiyan
Mere dil ko na khaye wahan
kabhi koi fikre jahan

P.S : Nothing else is on my mind today.. !!
Aditi : Mujhe lagta hai Jai change ho gaya hai...wo aajkal Meghna ko bahut importance dene lag gaya hai, hume bhool hi gaya hai ..
Aditi's Frnd : Nahi Aditi , Jai to shuru se hi aisa tha, bas pehle wo bandi tu thi .. !!

.................... Worth Pondering ..........................

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

If you could see inside my soul
see inside my heart
you would know how I long for you
whenever we're apart

If you could see inside my head
if thoughts were things to see
you would know how I cherish you
how much you mean to me

In all the ways you comfort me
the way you hold me near
the way you know just what to do
to chase away my fear

The sparkle in your beautiful eyes
your smile, laugh, your touch
are just a few of many reasons
I love you oh so much

Knowing I can talk to you
about any and everything
and knowing together we will get
through whatever life may bring

I could search the whole world over
and this I know is true
I would never find another love
like the love I found with you

Though with each new day, each sunrise
we can't know what's in store
there is one thing I know for sure
each day I love you more

So if you could see inside my head
if thoughts were things to see
you would know how blessed I feel
to have you here with me

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

There is no place for people who are good at heart, but for people who can pretend to be so....So better start pretending if u haven't !!

P.S: Many limitations to this theory, but generally true !

Monday, September 29, 2008

To you I say, meet me in the eye of the storm and together we will steer this mess in another direction. Jump into the storm. Do not stand on the sidelines too lazy and scared to do anything about all of the ugliness going on around you. Jump into the storm. Swim and fight your way to the center of the vortex. There we will sit together in the quiet and find the solutions……………..
Why do people always choose the safest way? The bold and courageous people are always praised, but have we ever pondered they are only supported after they have achieved something, but while they are dong it, their thoughts are never appreciated…this is the Irony of our so-called “society”. A person has to be bold enough to think differently and the good work doesn’t ends here, he/she has to be strong enough to act on it. “ To think out of the box”, and “to stand out of the box” are totally different ball games. This face of society has many reasons. Why do we make ourselves dependent on others, why cant we just let go and instead of attaching to people we should learn to get along with them. Why do we give society so much importance…. Having some time alone is not at all bad, and it should be rather appreciated. Because “Even the tiniest of the stars shine in the dark”, so it is not only the sunshine we should love, darkness has its own benefits…
I just want to stress upon the independent thought…Do we have an independent thought or not? In general children follow the paths of elder ones, and whatever thoughts or fresh ideas they have are buried either due to the force of society or their own observations around. But these ideas need to be dug up again, coz if they are not, we might lose them. Most of the people do what they see others do, and most of the ideas are inspired by the acts of others. Their independent thought is inspired by others and not by the free mind… The fact is that everybody has the capability to have as creative ideas as possible; it just depends on the space and time given. So why snatch that space from ourselves, let the ideas grow and build the future we are hoping for……..

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Why do we give so much importance to somebody in life, that we ourselves become invisible… Yeah sometimes in life we end up doing that… At least I have gone through this phase.. It is generally noticed that we do this out of concern, or affection for other person, or when we want to be like that person, reasons may be many..
Is it justified.. ? This is a rather random topic, but of unique importance in life. Suppose there are two persons A and B. Now there can be three cases. First case, A can be a great admirer of B, or is highly inspired by B, or is in love with B.. Second case, same can be the case with B for A. Finally, third case is when both equally respect each other.
The third case is most favorable but rare case…In either of first or second case, one of the person ends up destroying his/her life or rather I should say waste the precious moments of life. And no it is NOT justified in any situation, at any place, and neither in any scenario. We start giving importance to some other person because we find it meaningful in the beginning, and we think logically we do it for our own comfort, because we feel good to do that, and in many ways we want to be like that.. But as time passes, and if it is the second or first case, one of the person starts feeling the ignorance, but still to preserve the old feelings and if A is honest, A will keep on having same feelings for B. And now A will be spending more time on B, because he/she will add on the time he/she is now spending on thinking that why is the feeling not mutual between him/her and B. And then he will also think of many other things along side, relate himself/herself to many events. And all this time is spend just for B, directly or indirectly.. So finally A gets into the situation, donating major chunk of time for B, which B is not even aware of. Slowly A stops thinking about himself/herself……….. !! And here A should put a STOP. Because If we see initially it all started in personal interest of A, and ends up destroying A, so it should better be put to STOP to prevent further damage….But most of As in this world don’t realize this, and also there are not enough Bs who help As realize this coolly and calmly……. So life goes on….And finally a C will come in life of A and help A realize of the mistakes … But that would be too late…SO better try and forget it as soon as possible…. !!

P.S : May be I messed up the whole thing with A,B,C,,.. etc, but the basic idea is conveyed … J Be Happy..

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I’m not looking
For a warm embrace
I’m not looking
For a friendly face
I’ve got
Everything I need
I’m not worried
If you’re coming back
I’m in a hurry
Cause’ I just found out
I’ve got
Everything I need
I’ve got
Everything I need
So even if you wanted to…

You can’t save me
You can’t fail me
I’m back up on my feet baby
In the way down
Is when I found out
That I got everything I need

I’m not looking
For a hand to hold
I’m not waiting
For someone to show
I’ve got
Everything I need
I never found a wall
I couldn’t climb
I never seen a well
As deep as mine
I’ve got
Everything I need

I’ve got
Everything I need
So even if you wanted too…

It doesn’t matter
If I’m qualified
Or if I ever learn
To blow your mind
I’ve got
Everything I need
I’m not looking
For a place to shine
I wake up
And I’m satisfied
I’ve got
Everything I need
I’ve got
Everything I need
So even if you wanted too…

- The Wallflower
Why do you want this so bad?? Because they said I couldn't have it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

LET GO.....

Learn the art of letting go from nature. To deal with depression and survive it, one must allow the thoughts to come and go in a free flow, says Swami Sukhabodhananda

When you breathe in and out, the breath not only touches you but also nourishes you. There is an important lesson that you can learn from breathing. Breath goes without getting stuck anywhere. If you too adapt this concept you can lead life wisely. You should allow your experiences to flow, touch you with its understanding and then should let it go. Whenever you are depressed, you should touch it with your awareness and not let it affect you. Slowly it will go away and when it leaves, you should be aware and learn from it. Often you hold on to depression. By this you move into an abyss. It becomes a vicious cycle, wherein you end up getting further depressed. You lose hope of life and you see a world coloured by your depression. Here are some useful tips to counter depression:
Observe your breath and understand how it touches and goes
Observe the sun. As it rises, it touches you and when it sets, it is gone
Observe the changing seasons and how they touch you and go
See the flowers blooming and fading away
Take these lessons from nature. It never allows anything to cling to it. What comes has to go. Learn this lesson
Let the thoughts come and go. Remain detached
When depressing thoughts trouble you, allow them to touch you, but don’t let them
cling on to you. Move on, let the thought go. Your inner eye, now knows the art of “touch and go”
Feel happy. Try to find joy when depression comes and feel happy when it goes With this practice your inner eye will understand that you are not in depression, but in a space where you allow thoughts to come and go.

Monday, September 08, 2008


1) I was just realizing these days that:
The wishes for which we perspire the most in life are seldom achieved or are achieved after too much changes and adjustments that we either don't value it or we have some other challenge going on in our mind... And sometimes in life if we forget them and stop fighting for them, we realize how easy it was to achieve them...It is a vicious circle. But should we stop trying...NO. It is no solution. And "solution" is not a correct word as it is no problem. It is a fact of ilfe, which we should get used to asap! We should think of it as we are getting results of our efforts but not in time..
And always keep this in mind that your efforts are never wasted.... though hard to digest.. But digest it raw as it is..........don’t think on it...

2) Habits
I'm a person who interacts with people more than myself, though to people who know me the vice-versa might seem to be true... But seriously I have never really sat with myself to discuss about me... I just think about people in my life, which is not bad, but former should be given priority... But to this also I have found a way. I keep on telling people that my life is hell.etc….I pretend as a loser. So people keep on giving me advices. So in solace when I think of all the people and their thoughts, I basically am thinking about myself. But this is no way man!!
I need to change this because we are what we pretend to be, and eventually I have started seeing myself as a loser, so what started as a self-realization plan is converting into a self-destruction plan. I should STOP it as soon as possible... I also want to be free and want to smile at every thing that happens to me, be it a failure or success I do it in my mind but cannot reflect it ... as I have to pretend as a loser. Today I'm breaking this vicious circle around me and will be free...
P.S: This might be over-exaggeration of the fact, but the reality is something like this!

3) 100 %
I perfectly know how to play the game but winning is not my cup of tea...
As stated, I make my effort towards making of the battle field, bringing arms to the battle field and even forming a big army enough to defeat anyone and anything, but I stop after it, I don’t know how to lead, or the fact is I know it but don’t want to do it as I want to pretend as a loser.... But this is no use.... because.
There is no list of fighters who fight in a battle; only leaders are counted
also " Winning matters, nothing else."

4) Emotions
I easily give up to people, who I think are good at heart. But the truth is I don’t know how to judge the people, I judge them only after I have experienced them.... But I think rather than thinking so much on this topic I should just go on, and neglect the emotions and be emotionless.... But m a human and that too Piscean so cannot help, but fall prey of worldly emotions again and again...Will learn with time... :)

Monday, September 01, 2008

PERFECT......... :)
Time is new,
Words are few,

But feelings are true,

Here I am trying to convey

My feelings towards you.

"I love you", is a 3 word sentence,

Which I understood when i met you.

I don't know why I love you,

Maybe cause I love your appealing eyes,

Or maybe

you look like the princess of my dreams,


I love you because you're a fantastic speaker,

Or maybe

I love you for the way you make me feel,

For reasons are many,

But still I am not sure of any!

I smile often,

Remembering the time we spent with each other,

I check my mails over and over again,

Hoping to see your mail.

I dream about you

Wishing that someday it would all be true

I don't know how to say

As I said words are few,

And I can never express what I feel about you!
The world is moving,

But my time is still.

I just want to say,

That you are always in my thoughts,

Always in my dreams,

The letter might end,

But my love will never.

So today i propose to you,

With my heart beating faster and faster,

With my eyes waiting for a glimps of you,

With a hope you'd say yes,

Will you be mine forever in the happy and hard times?

And in sickness and joy....

Oh my dear,

Will you be mine forever and ever.....


Hope you'll understand what I just said,

In short, accept my proposal or your dead...
O My Friend........

O my friend , when I met you my heart announced,
That you donot need to search more for friendship,
I don't know where the smile was lost from my face,
But talking to you I saw it coming back again.
I dont have words to explain this heavenly experience,
After getting a friend like you ,seems like god has come in my life !!
Believe it or not, my feelings are true,
I just wrote down what this heart of mine wanted me to .....

Monday, August 25, 2008

Whenever I think of my age and start counting the years since I was born, I dunno y I always stop at 2004.... Maybe I didn't grow after that year.....Or I didn't quiet noticed the year passing by after 2004...Whatever the case is, I should stick to the fact that i'm growing old... !!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Love You........... GOD !!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Chal dil mere chod ye phere,
Ye dunia jhooti log lootere........
Daulat poojari...husan vyapari....vaadon k kache...

Chal dil mere chod ye phere....
Ye dunia jhooti...log lutere,

Apni kahaani ro ro sunani....
humse na hogi aisi nadaani.....

Jhooti adaien.....khoti nigahein....
kitne fakar se chehre sajaien....

Chal dil mere chod ye phere,
Ye dunia jhooti log lootere........


Friday, August 08, 2008

Life is sooo gud..........

This is quiet a debatable statement. Gud or Bad are defined by the very exiystence of life. Then is it correct to rate life on that scale......anyway.....
Life keeps on changing and sometimes you feel on the to pof the world and sometime you feel like what are you worth for..... These moments are part of life... !!
But thinking logically, if there wud not have been any of these sine (or whatever) curves in life, life wud have been boring, than boring wud make an exponential decreasing curve of life.... But sooner or later one will realise this and again the sinosudial part of life follows.... And on the other side, if you are on the highs and life is exponentialy growing, it will readjust itself....
Finally all merged together becomes a harmonic function with varying amplitude and frequencies... But one thing which ignores all this mathematical calculation is self control.... All depends upon you MAN... Life is destined to take acute turns, but its you who can make this turns look less acute, and the curves to be more continuous than dis-continuous.....Serioly you can make it even look like a simple staright line, but without any slope in either direction coz that wud either be too much over confidence or under confidence and both are bad !!.................
Life is so beautifully designed, u can play with it as you like.........
So if you keep on saying " Life is good" may soon align all the graphs and make it a smooth sinosudial curve............ that is why...Life is soo good..........
There are more to add to these graphs, scale might be different for different people, and many external boundary conditions may also be present to the upper limit, but no lower limit and you better avoid the lower one...........All this is not soo easy to understand it...But more you try to understand it more you modify your own better stop thinking and believe me that "Life is soo gud".......

P.S. :Just a general post, but this is how I think of life

Monday, August 04, 2008

Its all in the mind..........

We have many illusiions in our mind about our limitations, and field of work. Believe me, there are no limits to what a person can achieve.Main thing is for you to be ambitious. With this I have two kinda things to discuss as follows ......

Firstly, there are many beliefs about the limitations of knowledge and work. Like in general it is believed that girls are not too good at Maths.. So girls dont try to be good at maths, they look at it in that way, and it is already a myth thatthey cannot perform well , so it can always be used as an excuse by them. We cannot generalise it but majority is like this.... But if we think that we can do that...nobody in the damn world can stop us from achieving what we desire....Destiny is meant to be changed... You cannot live with it...

Secondly, we all who are either studying or working have some similar questions running through our mind. What we are doing , is it worth ?.... Why are we doing it ?
The first question is hard to answer by most of the people, but second question can be answered by almost anybody. Because the answer is generally used as an excuse by many people to justify there work............ But if u realise that u hv a talent for certain thing, u must be ready to take any amount of risks for it in your life.....Coz if you do that, you will surely be performing it much better than most of the people......But society plays a bigger role in it..Like Bradman could never have thought of being a poet...rather than a cricketer..But if by chance poetry was considered a little bit more elite than cricket he would have thought twice, but anyway he did the right thing.......... So its all upon you...hv to do the right thing at the right time.........

P:S : Some of it is from some literatture I read in the past, and some from myself, as I had been thinking of life these dayz very much. Though the write - up is all random, but I guessit conveys the basic idea.........

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Just In Time ........

Basically this is what is all about my life. Things work just in time. And all the time before I get a work done which is always in time, I spend all my time thinking how will I even finish it....and it happens everytime, tis uncontrolable....
Maybe it is because of my lazy behaviour and I plan everythin gto finish just in time.....
Something intersting happened today......
I had to shift to new house today. I had kept one of my bag at my freind's place already in advance. Other one I had with me in the office. And at around 10 I was expecting a call from the lady who was staying in my studio currently. Buut somehow I forgot this and was busy with some meeting till like 10:30 , but still I took it lightly, and was supposing that I'll get one more call. But as time passed, I was really worrying, as I had planned everything in a perfect manner. I would get the keys by 10, Shift bag from my friend's during Lunch, and go back to Birr to clean the appartment early today. But, already it was 1 pm by my watch, and still no progress. All day I spent in arranging her mobile number, calling her neighbours in office, but all in vain. No success...I was really afraid now, as this weekend is a long weekend ( 3 day weekend ), and if I dont get the keys in time, my friend will be gone to Italy, and my bag is struck inside, and maybe even house lady may have gone and where will I live for three days........
Then suddenly phone rang, she told me that collect the keys in front of the house at 2:30,I suddenly contacted my friend, he didn't had much work, so he agreed to accompany me and give me my bag from his room, and then I have to rush back to station to catch train to Birr at 3.. So all the parts in correct places at the end, but in a hurry...And now it is already 2:13 by my watch and I have to hurry up to go and get the keys and transfer the bag........

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na........

I had been trying to download this movie from so many days, but yesterday I got lucky and finally got it downloaded.... And I saw it almost instantly as I got it on my computer. The music is really mind freshning, as AR Rehman's always is. I just loved the the theme of the movie....the way they presented it and all... Music at the correct time, and perfect emotions for the scene were present in the songs....It was like a mix of Kuch Kuch Hota hai and DCH........ But anyway I'm not here to discuss the story of the movie, I aint a story teller... God Dam'n It !! :))

After watching such movies I have a thought in my mind that, I wish I could have such a life, nice friends and all. Either this is because of me being a dreamer (Piescean), which I cannot help, or maybe I take movies so seriously. But how hard you try the reel life cannot be fully converted to real life......It cannot be so sad or soo happy at times...And one thing I realised is that, friendship follows Newton's Third Law, the more you give the more you get..... In today's world you will find very less people who are ready to help a stranger without any personal benefit.... !! ........... And to have good friends you have to approach without expecting anything out of the friendship.... When you dont expect anything you get a lot.. and this is true...... I'm very open to people on my first meeting with them, and after that I chose whether to remain that way or not....It works good in college life, but in professional life we have to maintain a descent behaviour all throughout, and only after we are intimate(I guess this is a controvertial word, but cant think of any other right now ) with a person we should open up much... I have heard people say that nobody is a friend in Professional Life..Maybe they are correct...It is because either people dont have any time for friendship,or they are too adamant with their thoughts and do not want to change for any other person, and if you cannot change yourself for friends, friendship ceases to exist...
.........Ooooo hold on a second........where did I start and where m I going with my write up........ So I better leave it now, or I would be writing all day, without any stop.. !!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Human Psychology......

A few days ago I was having a discussion about India with one of my respectful and completely knowledgeable senior. We were like discussing about life status in India, and how could it be improved. Generally a lot of people love these kinda conversations, I never want to be a part of or start such a converstaion intentionaly. But this time I could not stop myself from conveying my thought and adding it to the discussion. Generally I think that stacking my ideas to others is useless, as everyone have their own perceptions about an issue, and I'm not the right person to change it as I'm still a learner. But I dont know why I wanted to be the part of that discussion. They were talking about increasing salaries of Police Officers as a solution to firm implementation of law and order in the country. But according to me this is no way, coz human's greed can never be satisfied, and in a country like India no salary can be treated as high.The police officer will always try to earn more, and in that process he may take bribe and same process may follow. And an officer who is sincere will be same in both conditions, though he might relax a bit with increased salary. So instead of these solutions some concrete solutions like changing the way people think must be used. And on a broader scale all the people must be treated as equal, not just by saying that they are equal but by making them stand equal to each other. In India maximum people have a problem fullfilling their basic necessities of life, so they have no time left to think of their life style and none for their country. Also the basic neccesities change as we move through different salary groups. This all is there because of a large gap between poors and rich. A slary group always looks at higher salary group than his, and has desires like them. This is what poses a big problem. In between this discussion, my senior (guruji), mentioned to me that we should stop thinking that what other people think about us, and this will sove all the problem of basic necesseties. Just ponder on it a bit, telling others that u dont care what they think about you, doesnt this shows that you are the person who is most concious about other people's thought about you. Because you want to make clear to them that you are among that class of people who " dont give a damn ", but why tell it man................, it means that you just want to confirm it to them that you dont care, which indirectly means you care. So the vicious circle goes on and on................. I wanted to xplain this to him...but couldn't...... But this is Human Psychology............

P.S : Please read through all the spelling mistakes.................. !!

Friday, July 25, 2008

Remembering old days..... wen I had all that enthu....
Man !! It is lost somewhere...searching for it these days ..... !!
dunno were to start !!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Sometimes in life you feel so close to a person...
if she goes away all is like a dream for you......
In this condition you wonder how can you reverse newton's principle and stop your tears from falling down.....
Feels like stopping the time at the very moment you met her.....
You keep thinking of it for days...
Sometimes you decide not to make new friends coz of fear of losing them....
But being alone is not a solution to the problem.......
Life goes on ...friends come and leave....
But what we forget is that...."pursuit of happiness" is essential human right .....
and happiness cannot be found walking alone........
We cannot come out alive from the combat called "LIFE", so better live it !!!!!